Embargoed until 4/1/2022
Cannabis Vaporization Incorporated into Space Travel Systems
(Hawthorne, CA) Citing several groundbreaking studies on the positive impacts of cannabis in zero gravity, SpaceX has announced they will be supplying cannabis and vaporization devices to astronauts on its Mars missions.
“We have been improving our understanding of every system necessary to carry both crew and cargo on long-duration interplanetary flights, and help humanity return to the Moon, and travel to Mars and beyond,” noted SpaceX CEO Elon Musk. “In doing so, we have identified mental health as a critical success factor in long-term travel. From a weight-to-efficacy perspective, cannabis is the least expensive and most effective method to solve for this concern.”
One study supporting this approach was recently published in the Journal of Aerosol Science. While commanding the International Space Station, Commander Chris Hadfield conducted clandestine research during his 2012 stint and only recently submitted it for peer review upon his retirement. “I was able to document the increased performance of my cannabinoid receptors in a zero-gravity environment,” he said, “which measurably decreases the sense of existential dread one gets while hurtling through space at 17,000 mph in a glorified tin can.”
Astronaut Chris Hadfield clandestinely tested four ounces of “Spaceberry Ice Cream #2” during his 6 months aboard the ISS in 2012.
A successful 2021 collaboration between Tesla Motors (TSLA) and Prrl Labs, Inc. to incorporate their proprietary NBT (no-burn tech) into Tesla's automotive climate control system in 2021 made it possible to easily integrate the same technology into SpaceX’s Starship launch vehicle.
Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, endorses the idea. “The problem with space travel is that so many things can kill you. One can see how altering your understanding of reality for short periods of time, especially during long flights, could improve your mental health. Why not lock yourself in your cabin, get high, play a little Bowie, and enjoy the trip if all of your other responsibilities are complete?”
"It was a real pleasure working with the engineers at SpaceX," said Prrl Labs CEO Mark Lewis, a former rocket scientist himself. "Developing the additions of the BFP and BFP Heavy to the line of Terp Surfer smokeless pipes with their engineers and having them stress tested by some of Elon’s celebrity friends is an experience we will always remember. Carl Sagan would be so proud right now.”
The working prototype BFP (top) can handle 0.5g of cannabis and the early prototype BFP Heavy (bottom) is being engineered to push that limit up to a full gram.
During the pandemic lockdown, several celebrities were able to take part in the testing program conducted at the Jeff Spicoli Institute for Advanced Consumption located within SpaceX’s Hawthorne, CA campus. Seth Rogan, Ilana Glazer, and Snoop Dogg, because of their high tolerance levels, were able to simulate astronaut physiology after months of cannabis use at zero gravity. “I knew my years of sacrifice would help all of humankind someday. Some people want to call me a hero, but I say I’m just a woman, standing here in front of a rocket, strangely aroused by its design, asking it to love me," the comedian Glazer noted while stroking the landing leg of a Falcon 9 at a recent press event.
"We are excited to make humankind an interplanetary species, but what’s the point if you aren’t having some fun along the way?” Musk added.
Go to the SpaceX website or click this link to sign up for the live press release event or view the recording.